LAST UPDATED 03.03.2021

What happens when a "bored halfwit with a desperate need for attention" gets onto the internet? Well, judge for yourself.
This page documents the borbardment of many different websites. Nothing is beyond our reach: Customer Support Live Chats, Answers Sites and Etc.

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YAHOOkers: Questions & Answers
The First Assault
Tony Helps Other People
My Best Friend Is Dead
I Am Being Stalked
URGENT! I Smell Really Bad
Programming Help
What the hell is that? HELP! URGENT!
Father, Worms and Chickens
HIV-78 UKIP Grenades Black Male Spotted
Another Pack of Questions And Answers
A Bunch of Weird Questions
What's Wrong With Abortions?
Are These Signs of Alzheimers?
Family Member in a Cult
Strange Color Of Feces
Spilled Drink In My Father's Car
Loud Neighbours
Driving On The Wrong Lane
Going To The Store While Naked
Miami Vice Remake by Vin Diesel
Going Deaf
Poisoned Pet Goldfish
Pregnant at 16
Autism Alert
Grandaddy's Buzzsaw
Stairway To Heaven
My Friend's Name?
Stolen Wheelchair
Speeding Ticket When In Garage
Who Is Wrong In This Situation?
Police Violence
Pizza Hut Gang Weed (By ???)
My Son Watches Porn
Mailbox Booby Trap
Trump 2020 MAGA
Fukushima No Translator
Too Much TV
You Can Come On Here
Refund On A Strange Item
Dad's Car Got Stolen
Captcha (HELLO JIM)
Strange Phonecalls
Strange People (Kelvin At His Best)
A Man Is Trying to Run Me Over
What's an "Alt-Right"?
Is World War 3 Imminent?
Irreputable Proof
Road Incident
Threatening Voice Mail
Insuline Resistance
People Ringing Our Doorbell
Is My Father Being Scammed?
Falsely Arrested
Dietary Habits
Is There No Longer Hope?
Brother Got Kidnapped
Dangerous Neighbours
Forgot To Pay Taxes
A Man Is Stalking Me
Father's Eating Habits
Computer Infected By My Father
Father's Questionable Videos
Father's Addicted To Megadeth
Who Is The Federal Reserve?
Could That Be A Tumor?
Eviction Notice
People Sneaking Onto Our Property
Grandfather Gone Psychotic
Dog Is Acting Strange?
Can I Eat My Foreskin?
Strange Person On A Plane
Monkey As A Pet
Putrid Ball Sacking
Coughing Person On A Plane
Should I Skip Going To Work?
Kidney Stones
Dissolving A Kidney Stone
Crying Father
Sleight Of Hand Trick
Kicked Out Of The House
Coworker's Tonsil Stones
Coworker's Kidney Stones (By Dany Burton)
Coworker's Dog
Coworker's Kiss
Coworker's Brother's Poodel
Coworker's In Pain
Tony Helps Other People, Again
Seducing A Coworker
Kidney Stones Hurt
Wisdom Teeth
Dental Wisdom Removal
Foreskin Teeth
My Girlfriend Left Me
Is This Legal In US?
Banned From Airplane
Father Has Diabetes
Do I Have Corona? (By ???)
Embarassed Myself
My Camera Is Broken
Bizarre Fantasies
How Much Should I Shower?
Buying A Car?
Do I Look Suspicious?
Coffee Machine Sex
Sex Offender At Walmart
Sex Offender At Taco Bell
Cult of Applientology
The Cheese Grater Accident
Metal Head Dad
Didn't You Just Ask?
I Will Defecate In 5 Minutes
Dang Ol' Scrotum
Kelvin's Return
Stretching Over Mexico
Kelvin's Mission Statement
Father's Penis Falls Off
Anonymous Stalker
Fish Tank Issue?
Dentist Deepthroats Goldfish
Kelvin is Furious
Kelvin Is Begging
Walmart Dairy Aisle
Testicles Specifically In Cement
Incident At Walmart?
Kicked Off Of A Bus?
Excuse Me What Is This
Goldfish Tank On A Stovetop
Son Is A Braindead Moron
How Do I Talk To My Son?
Son Does Bad Things
Doctor On A Plane
Intercourse On A Plane
My Father Is Terminally Ill
My Dad Is Drunk?
Did You Vote Today?
Arrested For Voting
Hearing Aid For Seniors
Prevented From Voting?
My Pet Is Dieing
Donated To The Wrong Bank
Father Hates My Pet
How Can I Hide My Pet?
My Wife Has An Affair?
Kelvin Is Sick?
Dog Foreskin Translation? (By Dany Burton)
Who Is Donald Trump? (By Dany Burton)
Romanian Abortion (By Dany Burton)
Is Evolution Real
Riding A Horse
Tony's Answers pt.3
Acid Freakout
Tony Stalks A Woman
Father Gave Me The "Talk"
Run Them Over
True Or False: Mooses?
True Or False: Black People?
True Or False: Penile Machine?
True Or False: Ask Jeeves?
Last Time You Were Assaulted?
Should I Break Up?
Moving To Florida
Is It Dangerous Outside?
Christmas Tree (By ???)
Refusing Abortion?
Truth or False: Ferris Wheel?
Loud Neighbors?
Principal Shot My Mouse? (By Dany Burton)
How To Lose Weight Fast?
Legal Issues At The Parking Lot?
Opinion On This Situation?
Steroids: Good Or Bad?
What's The Deal With Masks?
Merry Christmas Kelvin
I Am Looking For Tony
Kelvin, Are You A Nonce? (By Samass)
Supplements For Tremors (By ???)
Sperm Bank Theft (By Dany Burton)
Can I Live Without A Urethra? (By Dany Burton)
Arrested In A Pub?
What To Do If I Cough Bad?
Speaking Two Languages?
How Do I Change The Sound?
My Neighbor Is Morphing?
Roller Skating In Detroit?
Sign Language On TV?
Is This Dangerous? Help Me?
Rise of the Machine
How Cool Is Pearl L?
Who Ruined Fireball's Account?
Juan: Best Of pt.1 (By Juan Mutant)
Juan: Best Of pt.2 (By Juan Mutant)
Juan: Best Of pt.3 (By Juan Mutant)
Juan: Best Of pt.4 (By Juan Mutant)
Juan: Best Of pt.5 (By Juan Mutant)
Juan: Best Of pt.6 (By Juan Mutant)
Juan: Best Of pt.7 (By Juan Mutant)

Walmart Warfare
Starbucks Skirmishes
Et Cetera
Garden Hose (Swearing)
Garden Hose 2
Hello Mexican
Hello Mexican 2
Improper Messages
Strudel Chlamidya
Illegal Immigrant
Lots of Email
Domain Name Question (Interrogation)
Diversity Hires (Illiterate)
Trapped 2
Trapped 3
Robotic Vacuum Cleaner (By VKasan)
Can i Cum on you?(By VKasan)
Refund on Marvin
Egyptian Moose BDSM
Back In Time (By Durdge-o)
Dog Nuke (By Durdge-o)
Clarissa The Troon
Rocket Fuel (Big Cock)
Karlos Toilet
Karlos 2 (Constipated)
lol lol lolol
Close The Chat Immediately
My Bobby
The Most Sincere Correspondence
The Most Sincere Correspondence 2
NiHao Ted Nugent
Odorless, Leak Free
Michelle Dude Version
King Of The Britons
Visually Impaired
Waht Is English?
Moloko V Bratislavu
I NEED a Machine
Carbohydrator Annoyance
Skillet Refund Madness
Gor-Gor Demonoid Monster
My Son Just Had A Stroke
Long Name
Long Name 2
Ball Sacking (By VKasan)
Bad Impersonation (By VKasan)
So Spooky (By VKasan)
Karlos Toilet 3 (Halloween)
Demonoid Deep Throat
Starbucks False Flag
Coffee Is Faulty
Mayo Overdose
Stuck In Toilet (By VKasan)
Walmart Is Better (By VKasan)
Starbucks Rewards
Hi Honey
Cumshots In My Coffee
A Deal You Can't Refuse
Nokia Eric 12278 auf Deutsch
Big Man
Big Man 2
Big Man 3
A Nutritient Frog
Naked Person & Chlamidya
Free Coffee Scam (Failure)
A Gift for Walmart (Suspicious)
Roger Roger
Aids Syringe
Dirty Talk
A Question to Discuss
(By The Website's Crazy People)
The Best Of MF16HLA, pt.1
The Best Of MF16HLA, pt.2
The Best Of MF16HLA, pt.3
The Best Of MF16HLA, pt.4
Weird Kidney Stone Guy (By Dany Burton)
Cummed In My Taco

Ответы Мыло.ру
Как Арестовать Камаз?
Рецепт Булочки С Маком
Булка Взорвалась, Начинка Обожглась
Готовка Супа На Дикой Природе
Как Варить Курийцное Яийчко?
Кудахчить, Брынзить и Гармошить
Фотопарат Сдох...
Сракены Душат Горносранка
Бросить В Раздумье Банку Кетчупа
Рецепт Кетчупа, Проверьте
Случайно Смыл Кофе
Законсервировал Кролика
Третья Стадия Куриного Лаптя
А Че Ты Кто Кому Кому
Монстр В Супе
Пересолил Суп
Какойто Дурачок Их Разрушило
Как Активировать Вдыхалку?
Гидроксид Дырки? В Траншее?
Билет В Эфиопию
Еда В Самолете
Собачку Пиццой Накормил
Как Научить Включать Раковину
Помогите С Домашними Животными
Необычный Суп
Супы Разных Стран
Суп Народов Казахстана
Суп С Харчками
Суп Шеф Повара В Китае
Как Застраховать Колеса
Туалетный Утенок
Вот Так Веселимся
Как Незаметно Обезвредить Весы?
Водолаз В Кастрюле Супа
Вкусные Пироженки
Помогите Кто То Насрал
Змея, Кошка И Крыса
Фотография Сына
Фотография Внука (By Vkasan)
Сага О Лосях, ч.1
Змея Нырнула В Унитаз
Напалмовые Газы В Животе
Рыгаем И Блюем
Странное Питание Ребенка
Зубные Протезы
Лечение Гангрены В Полевых Условиях
Определить Температуру Баклажана
Не Умеет Включать Водопровод
Нужно Ли Указывать Децибеллы
Диарея В Бане
Проиграл В Хоккей
Продам Жареный Носок
Концентрат Огурца В Салатик
Как Вырасттьи Подсолных
Как Отремонтировать Проводку
Трактор По Пин-Коду
Нахаркали Мне В Еду
Рыба В Штонах
Шутка Про Похудение
Фильм С Вандамом
Мужик Ворует Мебель
Мебель На Колесиках
Научить Правильно Есть Кукурузу
Странные Болезни
Туристы В Стране Рапогоа Дузура
Гурме По Французски
Меня Монстры Покусали
Путешествия И Херовый Джипиэс
Рецепт Пельменей
Отчет О Свидетельстве
День Смеха - Кулинария
Взорвалась Кока Кола
Пранк В Кинотеатре
Куда Поступить На Работу
Где У Человека Глаз?
Где У Человека Глаз? ч.2
Микроволновка Сломалась
Сосед Понюхал Мой Мотоцыкел
Как Снять Проклятье С Кастрюли
Ремонт Свиного Рыла
Трагично Испражнить Розу
Сосед Задрал
Сосед Вышел Покурить
Тортик Для Сыночка
Хочу Подарить Жене Кольцо
Подборка Лучших Ответов
Подборка Лучших Ответов 2
Подборка Лучших Ответов 3
Подборка Лучших Ответов 4
Подборка Лучших Ответов 5
Подборка Лучших Ответов 6
Ночевка В Лесу
Застрял В Туалете (By Vkasan)
Застрял В Туалете 2 (By Vkasan)
Кот Насрал На Телефон (By Vkasan)
Странный Микрофон
Холодильник Протекает
Идите Нахрен, В Жопу
Напишите Мне Эссе
Какой У Вас Вопрос?

Meet the Characters

Tony, Bobby & Father Erik
Yahoo Answers, Omegle

A boy who is very desperate to get his issues solved. The nature of his problems is extraordinary to say the least, therefore his ramblings get deleted (and his account, at times, too), but that does not stop him. He lives in a family in Chattanooga, TN, with his retarded young brother Bobby and a demented Father. He also has a Grandfather who goes by the name "Buzzsaw" and is a total maniac, and possibly an older brother, who's currently being held in a mental asylum.

Alfredo Erectic
Walmart Live Chat

Alfredo is a middleaged pervert, who also just happens to live in the city of Chattanooga. His greatest passion is to get a partner, a loving woman, but 'cause his behaviour, it's not ever gonna happen. He spends his time gardening, tinkering with things at home and purchasing strange items. At times he has to refund them, or the delivery does not happen, and so he goes out searching for his stuff with just one question on his mind: "Where is it....?".

Mormon.org Chat, Walmart Live Chat

Sarge is a military man who resigns somewhere in a secret facility (..in Chattanooga), at a place called "Sector-Z". He is short-spoken, always gets things done and doesn't like indecisiveness and incompetence in others. He made his first appearance on Mormon.org, when he tried to order their book to his facility. The agents laughed him out of the chat and recognized him every time he'd go back, so he gave up on religion.

Chattanooga Madman

An insane resident of that same ol' city from TN. He's been looking for his hairdresser and an Aids Syringe for a long time, but still hasn't found either one of these. As a result, he is very irritated and doesn't like it when people can't help him with his troubles.

YAHOOkers: You Can Come On Here And Troll

      I began posting on YA in february of 2017, probably around the time the other site gave me a temp-ban. The name of the account, it's questions, answers and fate are lost in history.
Late 2018.. Tony Erik joins in continue the mission of his predecessor. And so begins the Tony Dynasty. Once Tony Erik got banned, Tony II went in to replace him. From now the efforts were finally screencapped. Once Tony II was set to be "under review", Tony III quickly replaced him.
    It is at this time that a YA oldfag begins to get upset with the spammin. The man that has been seen answering my questions since 2017, Kelvin, becomes hostile towards Tony III.
The peak of Kelvin's perfomance was during the so called "Kelvin Saga" (Starts with "You Can Come On Here" in 2nd column and ends with "A Man Is Trying To Run Me Over", although Kelvin shows up in almost every question afterwards too). Kelvin usually blocks my accounts so i can't reply to him until i make a new one, which i usually do every half a year or so when i get "set under review" (YA speak for banned).

      In 2019 YA was updated, letting you post questions without needing to stockpile points first, making the efforts easier. In late 2020 they "temporarily" turned off replying to answers to "keep it civil". Cunts.

Anyways, Kelvin dwells in "Health -> Men's Health", so you can stop by and say hello anytime.

YAHOO Hall Of Fame

Men's Health

Prominent health expert and very unfriendly poster who is quick to notify you about yourself being a troll. Mortal enemy of Tony, who attempts to form an Anti-Kelvin Koalition to stop him.


Luck = Moloch = Demon. Also known as Orthodox Anon. His massive walls of text can be found everywhere on the website. 1,500 letters limit is not enough for him to share the truth, so he adds more to the sources section. He posts anonymously but a quick search reveals his real account.


An argentinian musician (King Juan Mutant) who went off rails on yahoo for about a year and then perished. His music is akin to that of SMERSH and is very nice. Here are my favorite tracks: Grunge Core, Discriminate By Having Work, W Dreams. As for his questions, it is just a word salad about guitars, john lennon, ANTIVIRAL and many other important issues of the world.

Longhorn Gaylord
Polls & Surveys

A mysterious man with 8 or so accounts who just keeps posting "True or False" and other simple questions. No one has ever seen him reply to questions, so it is theorized that he uses his many accounts to boost himself.

Walmart Warfare Intel Received

      As of late 2019 Walmart has redesigned their websit and halted the ability to use live support chat if you do not have an associated email.
You can access live chat by typing in generic emails until one works however.